| (no subject) |
[Apr. 30th, 2006|05:46 pm] |
i dont go on here anymore. i prefer myspace. sorry. |
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| should i cut my hair or...? |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|12:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | La Senorita | ] |
Spring break is awesome and I had never felt more free (well, besides ma'am but..)! I have more time to do everything and I can get all of my work done that I wanted to! *sigh* if only all of life was like that.
I'm not really doing much except finishing all the work at home and stuff that needed to be done, but it's cool.
I think that after the musical i will cut my hair bald again. I don't know. |
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| like im coming back... |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|09:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
if anyone knows about this incident, it's because i didn't want to talk about it.
until now.
you see, after the sheraton hotel experience, some of you know that my father does not like me singing in men's chorale. in fact, he considers me a disgrace. if he hasn't told me already, trust me, he can tell. i keep telling him its a great experience and that it will help me in the near future, but that only aggravates him even more as he thinks that i will become a singer.
that is totally untrue. i want to become a non-musical actor.
now by the time winter chorus came in and he had figured out i came into play, he was so pissed off that he kicked me out of the house. i am now living in with my aunt. she's really REALLY nice, and i like her a lot. i told him before i left, with such an angry aura that it was fine with me, AS LONG AS MY FATHER HAD NO MORE CONTACT WITH ME.
i have had enough of him and it really sickens me when he treats me this way. he wants me to become what he likes, not what i admire to be. and what's even worse is he wants me to come back home. ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME??
of course i want to go home, i just don't want him there. its so much easier here with my aunt. she lets me go wherever as long as i come on time back home, which is fine with me because i don't go anywhere evil. and im glad that she can trust me. my father's idea of life is: school, home, school, home, school, home. school, mosque, home. it's close to the idea of house arrest.
*sigh* i don't care anymore, but please do leave a comment about what i should do: go back home with him and deal with it, or continue on staying at my aunt's house and working on my schoolwork but being a little more free?
ps. please leave a comment
pps. really, please leave a comment. |
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| Dr. Gaden...um..something...really good! |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|11:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Liebe" | ] |
Wow, I know that Doctor from Radford was a little weird, and he almost praised me to a limit when he was all like, "you have such great posture and your voice is so bold!" Gosh. If he only knew there were like 3942793847 other people much better than me. Yeah, Doc, I stick with Theatre as my talent.
But seriously, he really did help us a lot. His techniques will help the District Festival to sound vondervul for us Chorus kids. I guess Radford is a lot more than I expected...
BTW, if there is one thing I hate more, it is skanks that try to act superior than others because they have some position or more friends. So the next time I ask you something important, don't brush me off like some damn fly. I will show you (without forcing or hurting you) just exactly how I can make your life miserable, and I'll even give you a hint: I don't have to say a thing. Damn Bitches!! |
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| a more serious subject... |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|10:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieving stressful problems | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Facade" | ] |
there are times when i really began to contemplate about whether im growin up or not. oh sure, some may say im growing up so tall, so big, so quickly. for me, maybe too quickly. i feel like im acting 14 again. or 13 or lower. i dont know why. i would have thought that if i dont think about it, maybe it will just hit me. now im beginning to get scared.
and im panicking a little, which is taking over my duties in life.
seriously, i try. if you look me in the cafeteria, in the hallway, and in the auditorium and other places, i try. i try so hard to just shut up and deal with whatever hits me straight in the face. but i cant take it much longer. i am who i am, and that's great, but i wont let it interfere with others. i just wanna give my confessions straight up but there are some people in this lj who won't take confessions as an opinion, but rather an insult.
i dont know who i am anymore. cut the drama and look at me straight in the face. and from now if you ever see me smile, i assure you its only a mask that i wear. |
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| what a bad day... |
[Mar. 5th, 2006|09:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "I Can't Wait" by Outkast | ] |
man, i cannot believe this. first i go to home depot to buy some wood to break boards tomorrow for heritage night, but it took forever cuz the cutting guy is like, "man, im freakin tired, call me later in about 5 minutes." WTF! its your freaking job! then my dad gets pissed off at me because it took so long, and i told him, "it's not my fault. go tell that to the lazy cutter."
then i try out the boards which not only are impenetrable because of the freaking knots in them, but it busts up my hands. now since its sunday, by the time, im done with karate practice at springfield mall, take the bus because my dad doesn't want me to get a car, get home, and pick up the wood, Home Depot is closed. If only my dad gave me a car, I wouldn't have to depend on him or the bus, it wouldn't take so long, and he wouldn't have to blame me about wood taking too long to cut that i figure can make my hand bleed right now.
sigh, and i have to finish homework, and i have to get ready for rehearsal tomorrow, AND...
oh wait that's it. |
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| i gotta get this offa my chest... |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|07:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Crazy for Love" | ] |
ok, tell me the truth...
am i annoying...? seriously.
i wont get mad or anything because i need to stop acting like a fool and start being myself again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2006|07:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Over the Destiny" | ] |
ugghh.
what THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
3 bad days in a row. 3 big mistakes i made because i didn't make the right decision. i dont know. i even almost yelled at Michael at lunch today. I never felt so lost, so tired, or so wrong.
i just want it to stop. |
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| To Aaron Brown, this is as much as I can give you, and much more.. |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|11:05 pm] |
The Spirit
The man contained in himself a beast, a roaring self that lasted strong and eternal. The man expressed his beast to all those who would accept him.
And yet, the man ceased to live. But his spirit lived on.
That roaring tiger, that proud lion, that pouncing panther, and swift cheetah
never ceased to die.
never gave up,
never was forgotten,
never decreased,
forever roaring.
he was eternal and strong, still trailing the plains, still leaving on a legend.
Leaving the footprints of his master
was important to him.
So he kept on and on...
like a star in the brilliant night sky.
like glowing passion.
like eternity.
I am not much of a poet, but this is what I can do so far, so there. I will be at your funeral on March 4th, Aaron Brown, wherever you may be. May Allah protect your soul. Ameen. |
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| Death is unescapable... |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|10:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Remember Me" | ] |
It's been a long time since I've been on lj, but this was very important. It's like Gia said: What happened to Aaron Brown could have happened to any one of us. Sometimes its good to understand how valuable our lives are, especially at times like this. It's good to know that, besides all the trauma and despair, there are people who care. I didn't know Aaron very well, I only said "hi" to him every now and then. It's really amazing who is destined to die and that the fact is: it could have been us.
Life is very valuable. I can see that now more than ever. We all can see that now much more than ever. |
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